Two things: the rest of my day and a thought or stuggle of mine unveiled ( it could be interesting)

I got a lot done today. I cleaned out our storage shed all by my little ol self, sorted through all of it and organized them into seperate piles. Ha ha it sounds like it went nice and smooth and everything is neat, well not exactly. It went more like this: I put on a pair of long to my knees funky socks and a bandana and a set of heavy duty gloves so that maybe the spiders wouldn't get in my shoes, hair or on my hands! I go out to the shed open the door to see the massive amount of WORK I am in for...........at first glance I think it doesn't look to bad. I start digging in all brave not even worring about the spiders. Then as I get a little bit deeper I see a bunch of egg sacks and when I get the box outside there are tiny baby spiders everywhere and then out of nowhere comes the MAMA spider.............ick, now I have the major jeepers creepers! I killed them and had to take a break to get the horrid feeling of them running all over me off. So after that I did better and I got through all of the mess. It was very hard but lucky for me it wasn't too hot today. After all of that Rick came home and helped me get the boxes in the house and carport and then he took out the trash................I know that this is just to exciting for you and you know I think I was going somewhere deep with it but I can't remember where now, o well I guess I will stop then.

Okay enough about my day...........during all of this and much more that I chose not to bore you with I realized something while I was listening to the radio. I normally listen to contempory christian music but I didn't have any cds and the christian radio station wasn't playing music so I turned on, what is for me, the dreaded 93.1 for a good reason that I had never pondered on enough to really figure out what it was, I just knew that secular music didn't set well with me anymore. Here is what happened. I turned it on and a song came on that I didn't really know but it had a good beat to it. So I am cleaning up and fixing lunch for Kai when another song comes on and this time I recognize it and this feeling starts to invade my mind..........what it is I am not really sure for I haven't analyzed it much so I push past it and as I am dancing along to the song I start getting very depressed............my spirit feels like it is being suppressed........it can't breath. As the song continues flashes of my past sinfulness flash in my mind and then the lies begin of how much fun it was. It was like i was drained of my joy in that moment and the flashes were showing me that my joy is back there in the club dancing shamedly and immodestly surrounded by lurking eyes and evil drink. I could feel it taking over my whole being and it's grip was tight and only growing tighter as the song continued. My thoughts were in a full fledged battle with it and I was confused and only growing more so.........I realized that I had to turn the song off. I went over to it and switched it off and walked back over to where I was.............the feelings slowly started to subside and I started to gain back my strength very slowly............the lies that were so deceitfully pleasant before were now coming into the light again where they were bare.......................after awhile I knew what exactly had happend and how dangerous it was. The flesh had it's filthy dark decietful hands on me through the song.........it had me for a second or so it thought. It tried to pull me back into the lie that my past of living in the world was more fullfilling and filled with more joy than what was sitting right in front of me at the time.................my Kai. Evil was lurking in me, Oh but thank God for Him and His Power over this evil. I fought with the words that He gave me, the Words that He says to store in my heart and they battled against the flesh and even though it was painful and hard God prevailed in me and allowed me to not be held captive to it! It is only because of Him that I do not fall back into the world............its pull on me is so strong on me sometimes and I alone do not have what it takes to fight if off ONLY God and His Word can sustain me and give me the strength to do it. Halleiluha, Praise God for He is awesome. Sometimes I can't believe that I am sooo tempted to turn my back on God..........the devil is so clever and full of tricks to get me to really believe for a second that maybe it was better.........never, never is it or will it be better than Christ and His fullness. What He has given me, life......an angel Kai........a precious unsuspected gift Eli............and a man full of the grace of God and a zeal for Him that in my eyes can't be matched! Amen I love You Jesus and am forever grateful for what You have done for me and in me.

My many thoughts today are cluttered and taking a back row seat to the many tasks that are needed to be done. We are in the process of moving to Dallas Texas, August 13 is the official date we will be U-hauling out of here. Although we are terrible excited about this new life we are about to begin we are at the same time terrrible stressed and overwhelmed. The thoughts and pictures you have in your head are always so decievingly pleasant when it comes to these types of things, it is not all fun and games like we think so often it is a lot of hard work with much planning and not to mention exceedingly exspensive. I didn't realize just how much money a U-haul truck would cost.........way to much in my opinion. But it is all good cause we know that God is in control of everything, even our money. I feel that as long as we spend our money in a way that is pleasing to God then we will not have any problems, he will provide. I have to say though that we have not been as responsible with our spending as we should have been but we are definetly learning. Well I am off (not litterally) to another spout of frantic cleaning, packing, and then basically running around like a chicken with its head cut off.............I hate that saying, I don't even know why I said it! But it is true wish me luck I have a tremendous amount of crazy things to do! But, I will be back...................since this is my blog and all, hehehehe.

My First Post


Well today is Wednesday July 27th and this is my very first post on my new blog. I have another blog but it is mostly just about my boys. I have set this one up just for me........I need a place to put all of my thoughts. My mind is constantly running with all kinds of thoughts but I do not voice them for fear of other peoples thoughts about my thoughts! I hate it but I thought that if I created this place I would actually become more comfortable with myself and confident in my ideas or at least I would get them out of my head. Seriously they drive me crazy sometimes because they just linger in there and I feel like it is getting to crowded and some of them need a new dwelling place. Anyways, so that is the reason for this blog! I am a busy little SAHM and housewife who's mind is full of thoughts that I have meditated on for way to long and now I am letting them go I hope thay you my victim will half way at least enjoy some of these thoughts. May the Lord bless you today and don't forget to pray.


Mother of Eli and Kai and helpmeet to Rick or otherwise known as Kelli. (ha ha)